This is a link to my friend Shayla's blog...
http://sunshineandsprinkles.blogspot.com/2009/07/wordless-wednesday.html
This is her dad and brother and President Bush during a mountain bike ride! Whether you appreciated him as a President or not, you have to admit that it would be SO COOL to go mountain bike riding with a former PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!!! At least I do!
And this was linked with her permission, so if you decide to share, please ask her first.
I'm so proud of my son!
I found another picture of Brian on the Company Journals!!! He is the third person in the first row! I can't hardly wait until he graduates!!!!Semper Paratus!
There is Joy in my Heart! <3
Yes, there is JOY in my heart!
One thing that really helped was that my wonderful husband hired two women to come "deep clean" my house. Until I got hurt, my house was never this dirty. But when you get to where you can't even sweep or vacuum the floor without stopping to rest to let the pain ease, you just do what you can do to keep things decent and let the rest go. You have to. But it bothered me so much to have my house "not clean" the way I wanted it clean. Today, 
they cleaned and it has just lifted my spirits tremendously!!! So, thank you baby! He also bought me some sunflowers to go with my calla lilies that I grew in my flower garden. He knows I love sunflowers. He loves me! And I just ADORE him!!! He's the best.
Another reason my spirits are lifted is that the kids bought me a baby puppy for my birthday. She is the sweetest thing. Her name is Sassy Bella and she is a maltipoo! She has the sweetest nature. I love her already. She will be so much company to me. I get so
lonely sitting here night after night with no one to talk to. I'm not used to that. I'm used to having to be somewhere with the kids or having my husband here with me. Now that he is in the Coast Guard and she is getting ready to leave for college (and is never here) and my husband started working nights, I was just lost. I was just so lonely. But Bella is helping this a lot!
Well, I've had my surgery. It's been a week today. I'm doing really good, I think. I did have a really, REALLY bad night last night, but I've been better today and I'm "mentally" better today. If you've ever had chronic pain, you know what I mean by being "mentally" better. Chronic pain just works on your mind. It makes you angry, sad, and everything is always so overwhelming. Today, I feel like things are gonna be OK again.
One thing that really helped was that my wonderful husband hired two women to come "deep clean" my house. Until I got hurt, my house was never this dirty. But when you get to where you can't even sweep or vacuum the floor without stopping to rest to let the pain ease, you just do what you can do to keep things decent and let the rest go. You have to. But it bothered me so much to have my house "not clean" the way I wanted it clean. Today, 
they cleaned and it has just lifted my spirits tremendously!!! So, thank you baby! He also bought me some sunflowers to go with my calla lilies that I grew in my flower garden. He knows I love sunflowers. He loves me! And I just ADORE him!!! He's the best. 
Another reason my spirits are lifted is that the kids bought me a baby puppy for my birthday. She is the sweetest thing. Her name is Sassy Bella and she is a maltipoo! She has the sweetest nature. I love her already. She will be so much company to me. I get so
lonely sitting here night after night with no one to talk to. I'm not used to that. I'm used to having to be somewhere with the kids or having my husband here with me. Now that he is in the Coast Guard and she is getting ready to leave for college (and is never here) and my husband started working nights, I was just lost. I was just so lonely. But Bella is helping this a lot!
I started back working today too! Granted, I am working from home, but I AM WORKING and USING MY BRAIN! =} I'm going to work from home at least this week and next week and maybe the next. I'm not going to jeopardize my surgery... THIS SURGERY HAS TO BE SUCCESSFUL!!!
Oh! I've also got all our travel plans made for Brian's graduation on July 24th - flights, rental car, hotel, EVERYTHING!!! THIS makes me SMILE!!! Semper Paratus!
Tomorrow's a big day...
Well, tomorrow is a very big day for me. Actually, TODAY is a very big day for me since I just noticed that it's 12:58...Today, I have my second cervical spine surgery. They are going to remove the disc right below the first one they removed a couple of years ago. It appeared to us then that both discs should have been removed since both were damaged, but the neurosurgeon didn't think that was best. Well, the neurosurgeon was wrong as it turns out. My NEW neurosurgeon is now going to have to remove some of the old work and then repair all of it again.
It scares me. I have irrational (and maybe they're not irrational) fears of being paralyzed. I don't know WHY I'm more afraid this time, but I am. My kids aren't here and that scares me.
If you read this today, June 22, say a little prayer for me. This surgery REALLY, REALLY needs to go well. I need this pain to stop. I need to be healthy and happy and to be the BEST wife and mother and daughter and friend and coworker and whatever that I can be! I need to be ME!
I love my family very, very much and I cherish every day that I have with them. But, I hope that after this surgery, we will have MANY, MANY more wonderfully glorious days ahead that are days full of laughter and joy and not pain.
When too much is just TOO MUCH...
It seems like I am just living my life from one milestone or deadline until the next. I continue to say, “If I can just get past…” Fill in the blank on the event! First it was Project Graduation fundraising… then it was Kristen’s high school graduation… then it was Project Graduation… then it was getting Brian shipped off to boot camp… then it was getting Kristen to Chattanooga for Freshman Orientation… then it was dealing with and getting through a death in the family...
NOW, it’s my second c-spine surgery. I found out yesterday that I pretty much have to have a second surgery to fix the other disc that’s causing me so much pain. My other neurosurgeon knew it was “damaged” when he fixed the first one, but he wouldn’t “fix” both of them because he said he couldn’t in good conscience do preventative maintenance on my spine. The reason I wanted both done at the same time is because when you remove/replace a disc and fuse the bone, it puts extra pressure on the discs above and below it. Well, my argument was if you know the disc is already “damaged” and you know there’s going to be extra pressure put on it, wouldn’t it make more sense to just fix them both? Actually, my current neurosurgeon agrees with me, but what was done is done. This one is going to be more complicated and a lot more risky. They will have to deal with obvious scar tissue and they will have to remove the plate that’s in there now in order to fix the current problem. I’m scared. I’m not gonna lie. But I live in so much constant pain that I guess I just really don’t have a lot to lose. My doctor won’t guarantee me the pain will go away, but we can pray (so please do!!). Sometimes the pain does go away, and sometimes it doesn’t. My real hope is that it will because at first after my first surgery, I had a lot of pain relief. It didn’t ALL go away (because I have scoliosis), but it was tremendously better! I got through the day taking Advil or Aleve rather than prescription pain killers and sometimes NOTHING AT ALL!! If I can get back to THAT point, maybe I will be ME again!!! The OLD ME!!!! The ME that had energy to burn and was active and thin! :}
Before I do all this though, I’ve got a lot to get done… I have to work tomorrow (Saturday) to rebuild a communications server and Sunday to do a network audit and revise security scripts. I’ve got a TON of things to do before next Monday, but after I get past the surgery…
To be continued… =}
Oh! And I found my son in this picture that was on the USCG Blog!!! If you blow up the picture, he's in the row closest to the wall, almost right under the clock. He's behind the really tall guy. Brian has his head tilted - sort of like he's looking over the other guy's shoulder.
Semper Paratus!
NOW, it’s my second c-spine surgery. I found out yesterday that I pretty much have to have a second surgery to fix the other disc that’s causing me so much pain. My other neurosurgeon knew it was “damaged” when he fixed the first one, but he wouldn’t “fix” both of them because he said he couldn’t in good conscience do preventative maintenance on my spine. The reason I wanted both done at the same time is because when you remove/replace a disc and fuse the bone, it puts extra pressure on the discs above and below it. Well, my argument was if you know the disc is already “damaged” and you know there’s going to be extra pressure put on it, wouldn’t it make more sense to just fix them both? Actually, my current neurosurgeon agrees with me, but what was done is done. This one is going to be more complicated and a lot more risky. They will have to deal with obvious scar tissue and they will have to remove the plate that’s in there now in order to fix the current problem. I’m scared. I’m not gonna lie. But I live in so much constant pain that I guess I just really don’t have a lot to lose. My doctor won’t guarantee me the pain will go away, but we can pray (so please do!!). Sometimes the pain does go away, and sometimes it doesn’t. My real hope is that it will because at first after my first surgery, I had a lot of pain relief. It didn’t ALL go away (because I have scoliosis), but it was tremendously better! I got through the day taking Advil or Aleve rather than prescription pain killers and sometimes NOTHING AT ALL!! If I can get back to THAT point, maybe I will be ME again!!! The OLD ME!!!! The ME that had energy to burn and was active and thin! :}
Before I do all this though, I’ve got a lot to get done… I have to work tomorrow (Saturday) to rebuild a communications server and Sunday to do a network audit and revise security scripts. I’ve got a TON of things to do before next Monday, but after I get past the surgery…
To be continued… =}
Oh! And I found my son in this picture that was on the USCG Blog!!! If you blow up the picture, he's in the row closest to the wall, almost right under the clock. He's behind the really tall guy. Brian has his head tilted - sort of like he's looking over the other guy's shoulder.Semper Paratus!
Semper Paratus
Today and tomorrow are going to be two of the hardest days of my life. I helped Brian pack up to leave for Nashville this morning. He's shipping out to boot camp tomorrow. He has joined the United States Coast Guard and I am just about as proud of him as I can be, but IT IS KILLING ME!!!I'm VERY proud of him, but no matter how old he is, he is always gonna be my baby boy. He was my first, real, true love. I only thought I knew what love was until I had him. I told him tonight when I left Nashville that I already missed him - and I do! I missed him when he went to college, but at least I talked to him every day and could go see him whenever I wanted to. I think THAT'S what's KILLING me. It's the fact that I know that I can't even talk to him when I miss him... I can't even hear his voice... I can't jump in the car to go take care of him if he gets sick... There have been very few days since he's been alive that I haven't talked to him... I will get through this. I will do it for him. He's making a sacrifice, so I will just suck it up!
I go through so many gamuts of emotions: pride, sorrow, depression, joy, relief, pain... Sometimes, I'm fine. Sometimes, I'm not. Tonight after I got home, I went into his room. He left a pair of shorts lying in his chair... His laptop is on his bed right where he left it... I just LOST it! I couldn't stop crying until I called him. But after tomorrow, I won't be able to do that. I want him to be successful. I want him to go above and beyond. I KNOW this is going to be HARD, but I know he will be a better man for it. I've got some really good friends - especially Lee Ann - who have gone through this and talking to them helps me deal with it. I call her and she cries with me. And trust me, if you haven't gone through it, you don't understand. I tried to be there for her when her son joined the Marines, but I HAD NO IDEA! She knows and she's been a lifeline for me.
God, please protect my baby boy. Make him strong and help him to become the man that I know he can be. I love that boy.
Semper Paratus - Always Ready
MRI
Well, I had my MRI today. It was scheduled for 10:30. I got there at 10:15 as I was told so that I could fill out all my paperwork. I took my Xanax then. Weeeeelllll... They came back there around 11 0'clock and told me that they were at least an hour behind so that if I wanted to leave and have lunch, I could. So I did and came back at 12. I actually got back to the MRI aroun 12:30. By then (and after sitting in the car with the heated seats on), I WAS SOOOOO SLEEPY. I laid down on the table thing and he put me in the tube. I immediately had to have him pull me back out. I couldn't take it. I lay there for a few minutes and took a lot of deep breathes. I was finally as ready as I was ever gonna be. So he put me back in. He told me to just think of being on the beach. Well, I was planning my flagstone patio and flower garden! LOL! But the memory of the CSI guy 
getting buried alive kept sneaking in there! It took about 20 - 30 minutes, but I made it. He had to help me get off the table and it took a couple of minutes for me to be able to stand, but I made it. Boy, was I ever loopy!!!I decided that I was in no shape to go back to work. Between the pain and being loopy, I just needed to go home. I got to Southside and I decided that I really didn't need to drive just yet so I stoped at Lowe's and walked around in the Garden Center. It was so hot and humid that I think it helped to clear my head - a little. I was still worried and was gonna have the kids come get me, but they weren't home - are they ever?!?!? Any way, I called mother and I talked to her until I turned at Jacks Creek. I got home and went straight to bed.
I got up around 7:30 or 8 I guess. She and daddy had gone to Lowe's and got some top soil for the new flower bed. They came over and put that out and helped me pot some flowers that I got today for $4.
So, I'm about to call it a night again. If my shoulder wakes me up again like it did last night (and keeps me - and YOU - up all night), I don't know what I will do.
Well, darlin, good night! I hope you're doing OK. I sure do love you and I sure do miss you!!!!
Take a deep breath....
Take a deep breath... yeah...OK
I don't know if I'm coming or going. I do know that I scheduled Monday off because after this weekend, I won't be able to work and I know it.
OK
I get my nails done tomorrow night.
Thursday I've got a ton of Project Graduation stuff to do during the day (as I do tomorrow) and I've got to go to Dick's Sporting Goods and that other hunting place to see if they have any clearance items for prizes for the Turkey Shoot.
Oh! I did remember to get Clay's card today! And I'm STILL getting addresses for Kristen! Clay never did text or call me back about the invitation we aren't using...
Friday, I have to pick up a few supplies for the Turkey Shoot and get all the stuff ready and loaded to take that Saturday. Sometime between now and then, PLEASE BRING THAT TENT HOME.
Saturday is the Turkey Shoot, the Bar-b-que and the Womanless Beauty Review. I won't know what hit me.
Sunday is decoration at Crump, Softball Banquet at Hagy's at 2, and then the Senior Honors night at Trent's church at 5. See why I scheduled Monday off? I won't be able to move.
I'm overwhelmed.
BUT!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!!! And one day very soon, all this will be gone and we can just enjoy each other.
The end of another milestone...
Well, we lost our last softball game. The officiating was worse than horrible. They actually cost us the game (and I've got two pictures to PROVE IT), but it is what it is...
Now, it's time to move forward.
The Turkey Shoot is this Saturday. I need to take the tent we bought from that girl at the last show. I have to be there at 8 AM and stay as long as I can take it. We're still $2000 short so we really need to make a lot of money Saturday.
I took the 11:30 - 1:30 slot to chaperon at Project Graduation. Like I said in the text, I did not commit you because I just didn't know if you would feel like it or not. If you do, then wonderful!!! If you don't, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT!!! I'm serious about that. I may have to actually stay longer because I told them I could take up some of my slack from the other stuff that I wasn't able to do.
I made an appointment to take my car to Memphis this Monday to Gossett on Covington Pike to get the recall thing taken care of - something about the brake lights.
I've got to get Kristen's pictures to Nicole (B-Middle's mom) for her Senior DVD, and to Trent's mom because Trent's church is including her in their Senior honor night. I thought that was sweet! I have the date, but I don't remember it now. I'll have to tell you later. And I've got to do her Senior ad for the Courier for mother. I'm gonna forget something... I know I am...
Tomorrow night, I'm doing Clay's invitations.
I love you. Just so you know.
I'll try to add to this later, but I've got to get her ad and stuff done...
Before I forget... This is Clay's new picture on MySpace that I told you about... How cute!
Roses
My roses are sooooooooooo gorgeous! And I know that when you leave that you most likely don't even look towards them, so.................
Here they are!!!!
These are on my Don Juan climbing rose bush...
This is the yellow long-stem...
These are
from Rosie...
These are shots of the entire Don Juan
and the Rosie...
Here they are!!!!
These are on my Don Juan climbing rose bush...
This is the yellow long-stem...
These are
from Rosie...
These are shots of the entire Don Juan
and the Rosie...
Senior Night
It was Senior Night for softball and it was also Game 1 of the District Tournament. It was a little sad, but we kept making jokes, so it was OK. Plus, WE WON!!! We beat Scotts Hill 6 -1! We play again Monday night at Adamsville.
Now, for more pics...Danielle, Kristen, 
Corrie and Katie showing their "WIN" (in Chinese) tats and their "Rock 
Out" signs... They're such gangstas... LOL!!!
Here is Kristen with Popaw and then again with Nana and Popaw...
Here is Kristen's fav-o-rite Coach... Ms. Ashe...
SENIORS...
Kristen and B-Middle... 
Kristen and Katie...
Kristen and Magen...
The Three Amigos again...
Krissy and me...and Krissy and her Trentopher...
OK. I tried to make you feel like you were there. I know you were there in spirit. She knows that too. She loves you. I LOVE YOU!
What a day!!!!!
My normal day was OK, but I did get a phone call this morning that fired me up. Lee Ann called me and told me that the Melton PIG (sorry to insult actual swine...) that has been trying to destroy/take over the church had done. She said that he put a cross surrounded by trash and toilets up in the drive way of the old Community South Bank branch building.
As I drove and listened to her describe this, my jaw literally dropped and I couldn't say a word. I was absolutely speechless!
After Kristen's game - which we lost 1 to 0 - I drove by to see for myself. Sure enough, there was the sacrilege that was shown in the picture that Lee Ann had e-mailed me. I have been more than outraged all evening. I have been researching neighborhood ordinances all night. I found on that I edited and e-mailed to mother and the mayor's wife - Margie. I just can't take it! I can't let that man RUIN my hometown!!!! He is a PIG! The sign says "For Sale - $200 for everything." He thinks that someone will give him $200 to take it down. HE IS AN EXTORTIONIST!!!! Sure he would "sell" it, but he would put something else back in it's place. He's pissed because the judge wouldn't let him tear up the church's parking lot in order to "check" his septic tank - thus the toilets.
HE IS A PIG! I HOPE HE BURNS IN HELL!!!!!
Now, to more pleasant things...
Tomorrow night is the first game of District Tournaments. We play Scotts Hill at home and they will do Senior Night after the game. If we lose this game, we're done. If not, we will play at least one more. I won't say I hope we lose, but I won't be upset if we do...
I didn't get my nails done tonight because Kristie's little boy, Gunnar, was sick. I tried to get Michelle to cut my hair, but she never called me back. So, it looks like I will get my nails done some time Saturday.
Friday night is the Chorus recital... I think I told you that.
Work was NUTS! I can't even tell you WHY on here! Ask me this weekend! It was NUTS!!!!!
Well, I just got off the phone with Lee Ann. We're both so freaking pissed off at that PIG!!! I posted her picture on FaceBook and there are tons of comments! Check it out tomorrow!
I love you! I love you more than chocolate!!!!!
Update and then bed...
I am soooooooooooo tired!!! But I wanted to add pictures to the slideshow to make you feel warm and cozy! LOL!! I had a TON of Kristen - because she's had so many activities lately. I had to hunt for pics of us - we actually don't have very many for some reason - and of the boys. But I did find some of all of us. We don't even come close to the number we have for Kristen, but what can I say? LOL! Now that I've got EVERYBODY in there, I'm going to bed.
I do love you more that you will EVER realize. I don't understand sometimes why you don't seem to realize that, but it's the truth. I know I disappoint you, but I'm trying. No matter what, I love you.
I am sooooooooooo tired. Kristen and I just got home from her softball game and Walmart. My back is KILLING me. What else is new? We played Madison - double header. We won both games and Kristen played very well. Lani made a triple play to end the last game. It was cool.
Tomorrow, we play TCA at home. Wednesday night could possibly be Senior Night, but I hope not. Wednesday night is nail night... LOL! Thursday, we may or may not have a game - it seems they don't feel the parents have much of a need to know. Friday night is most likely Game 1 of the District Tournament at Adamsville. AHS vs. Scotts Hill. This may ALSO be Senior Night. Who knows?!?!? Senior parents certainly don't need to know... Friday night at 7:30 is also the Chorus Recital - it's 75% of Kristen's final grade, so we will be there regardless of softball.
Brian got his ship date! He leaves for Coast Guard Boot Camp in Cape May, NJ, on June 2! That means I will be in Nashville on Tuesday, June 2, to see him off and then leave Wednesday evening, June 3, to take Kristen to Chattanooga for Freshman Orientation June 4 - 5.
I love my husband very much! =}
Tomorrow, we play TCA at home. Wednesday night could possibly be Senior Night, but I hope not. Wednesday night is nail night... LOL! Thursday, we may or may not have a game - it seems they don't feel the parents have much of a need to know. Friday night is most likely Game 1 of the District Tournament at Adamsville. AHS vs. Scotts Hill. This may ALSO be Senior Night. Who knows?!?!? Senior parents certainly don't need to know... Friday night at 7:30 is also the Chorus Recital - it's 75% of Kristen's final grade, so we will be there regardless of softball.
Brian got his ship date! He leaves for Coast Guard Boot Camp in Cape May, NJ, on June 2! That means I will be in Nashville on Tuesday, June 2, to see him off and then leave Wednesday evening, June 3, to take Kristen to Chattanooga for Freshman Orientation June 4 - 5.
I love my husband very much! =}